Feels Like Home

What is up, all of my homeboys and homegirls?

I found out that though Nextel may have one of the best and most reliable network coverages in the country, there is a Nextel black hole in Brownwood, Texas. So everyone I promised a phone call to, it truly was beyond my control. I found a payphone yesterday to call Mike and let him know we were safe and having fun.

So on to the “having fun” explanation…..

My mom and I drove up and down almost every street in this fine city, to look at houses suitable for Mike and I to habitate. We were discouraged to find many crappyzola homes under $50,000 and many beautimous homes over $200,000.

I even did a very grown up thing that was scary. I approached a realtor and he showed us three houses yesterday. I learned a few things about myself.

1. I have absolutely no interest in a fixer upper. Especially after someone has already supposedly fixered her uppered and it’s still a hole.

2. I really don’t even like a home that is in basically good shape but was built when disco was being hated on for the first time.

3. I would rather live in a tiny home that was brand spanking new than a huge home that’s more than 10 years old.

So no deep, soulful revelations, but it’s always nice to find out things about yourself that maybe you didn’t know before.

I’ve also discovered that I’d rather smell cow dookie than mangrove stench.

Day Two of the Road Trip

My mom and I are at the end of Day Two of our road trip. Nothing too eventful except for a small excursion we made this morning.

We hopped on 90 in Mississippi which is the highway we lived on when Mike was going to flight school in Gulfport. As soon as we got to Biloxi there were only two landmarks that gave me any indication of where I was.

At the beginning of the Biloxi stretch there is a mini lighthouse. After that there used to be miles and miles of big beautiful old homes with huge banyan trees. Now only the trees remain. There was nothing. No homes, no restaurants, no banks.

The second landmark was the bank that I used to work at. The 2o+ floor building was still being worked on and it looked like the windows had been blown out. But after that block, toward Gulfport, there was more nothing. I thought I could show my mom where I lived but all along the Biloxi, Gulfport coast was simply miles of rubble.

I have to say that I really had no idea of the destruction that had happened until I saw it.

So anyhoozle, there are only about 2 hours left of the road trip but it is way past my sleepy time. We got some pictures that I’ll post………eventually.

Tired of leaky faucets and shoddy roofing?

I can’t help you with either of those problems. However, there are two problems I can help you with.

If you have ever:

A.) Daily checked this blog only to be greeted with the same “new” entry you’ve already read eight times?

or

B.) Checked this blog only to find out that you’ve missed five entries and get discouraged because you’re so far behind?

If either of those situations have ever described you, you are in luck. Because now you can subscribe to this blog! For an unlimited time, if you subscribe by entering your e-mail in the right column (underneath the paragraph where I’m begging you to comment), the service will be cheap as free! That’s right! No more checking or forgetting to check. You will receive an e-mail letting you know that new words take up space here!

But act fast! Because this deal will never expire! And you know what a bad procrastinator you are…..

A different kind of post.

I was inspired recently, by various events, to write a more somber and serious post. Savor the flavor because this isn’t going to happen too often.

This morning I was driving to work. Nothing unusual or surprising about this. I have to do it everyday because walking would take too long. And I’m too lazy to walk. I had a Christian radio station on and they were playing some kind of remix of “Oh God, You are My God” by Rich Mullins.

Now, I was never a big Rich Mullins fan. He was an amazing man, and a unique artist but when he was at his prime I was much more interested in DC Talk and Amy Grant. Anyhoo, if you haven’t heard it, this version is beautiful. There is a lot more music behind it; strings, electric guitar, vocals. And that song was one of the anthems of my Christian generation.

I cried.

I couldn’t help it. I thought of his life and how he died so tragically. I thought of the agony Alece recently expressed of dealing with the desire to affect change in Africa, to reach souls, and the day to day struggle, the obstacles and the journey that goes with it. A perfect definition of bittersweet if I’ve ever heard one. I thought of the time when I was younger, more earnest, and unafraid to plunge deep into myself. Unafraid of opening my arms to a world full of people who need to know Love.

When I was a teenager, daily I asked God for His heart. I wanted my heartbeat to be in synch with His. And He started to give that to me. I say that He started to, because I don’t think anyone on this planet could handle being that close to the heart of God. You would probably die from simply the pain of loving so many people.

I even had a vision once when I was at a camp with Sarah and Colleen. I might have told some of you the story, because the revelation that I had is one that I wish everyone could understand.

The vision was this:

I was in what I knew to be the throneroom of God. It wasn’t like a palace. It was open; no ceilings, no walls…. no floor, in fact. God was seated in a throne and His throne was on a cloud. In my vision, I was a child and I walked up to Him and placed my head on His knee. He pulled me up on His lap. I looked into His eyes.

When I did, I was overcome with His love for me. I could feel it and I knew in an instant that His love was so huge and so powerful that I couldn’t ever understand it. I could hardly breathe.

Finally I acknowledged what I felt. “You really love me.” In that moment, I saw every person in the world. Some were on His lap, some sat by His feet, and others were far away with their back turned to Him. And I had a glimpse of understanding; because His ways are higher than ours, His thoughts are higher than ours, each of us are His “one and only“.

The reason I was so overwhelmed with His love is because it was the height, breadth and width of it. Not one iota was withheld from me and all His attention was on me. The mind boggling thing was (mind boggling because I have a human mind) that He looks at each person on this planet, the same way he was looking at me. His love isn’t spread out over billions of people, he loves only you with all the love that Love itself is capable of.

“For God so loved the world…..” For God so loved Alece. For God so loved Emily. For God so loved Anna. For God so loved Annette. For God so loved Sarah. For God so loved Debi. For God so loved Charlene. For God so loved Dave. For God so loved Nancy. For God so loved Laura. For God so loved Natalie.

Love people through me God, because to love them as I should, would crush my heart.

“And step by step, you’ll lead me. And I will follow You all of my days…………”

The best laid plans of mice and men.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Prov 19:21

So if you didn’t catch the hint between the title of this post, and my opening sentence, Plan A has been superceded by Plan A+. (You thought I was gonna say Plan B, didn’t you.)

Plan A+ is a more appropriate reference since it involves living, not ONLY in the same state as my husband, but also in the same building. It turns out that although they do travel, it is infrequent and most of the time they are home every night or at least every weekend.

Mike loves his job. Of course he loves to fly, but in this job he also feels like he’s doing something important. (click here to see why) Home will now be in Brownwood, Texas. It’s about a 2 1/2 hour drive from Dallas.

My mamasita is helping me with the drive from Florida to Tejas so it should be tons-o-fun.

I’m not Texas, I promise; just going with the flow…..

Under New Management

The girl running my blog had mistakenly set comment moderator status on without giving an e-mail address to send comments to. So, if you’ve tried to comment in the last week, your witty and unique thoughts have fallen prey to the beast called “cyberspace”.

Since I can’t have inept people running things, I promptly fired myself.

After a few moments, I realized that not only was there no one to hire, there was now no one to do the hiring.

So I begged, pleaded and flattered myself until I had no choice but to once again reign over the “What I really want to say is…” universe. I tell you what though… I better be real nice to myself from now on and you better believe I won’t be giving a two week notice when I decide to leave. Hmph. That’ll show me.

So as far as commenting goes….”COMMENCE TO START!”