In the Night

The open window was inviting a cool breeze into my bedroom. I pulled the covers up around my neck, and made certain than my little sleep noises sounded authentic. I didn’t want him to think I was waiting.

But I was waiting.

Oh yes. I knew he was coming.

I heard the gentle whir of the engine outside my window. So quiet, so smooth… if I hadn’t been waiting for it, I might have thought it was a cricket, or a random beetle of some kind that makes whirring noises.

As he removed the screen from my window, I did a sleepy jump and yawned. He froze. I almost laughed, but I had waited this long. Nothing was going to stop me now.

Since I sleep with my eyes open, and he knew this from reading the post I linked to which you should read if you haven’t already, I could watch as he approached.

Under the covers I slowly gripped the weapon I had been saving for this occasion.

With the speed of a thousand ninja monkeys, and with a single move, I pulled out the wooden leg from it’s hiding place and began beating the 4 foot tall alien man in his eyeballs.

“AAAAAaGghghghgh!!!!” gargled the 4 foot tall alien man, “My eyebaaaaaaaalls!” He jumped out of the room and I watched him from the window. He stopped next to his ship and looked back at me.

“How? How did you know about the eyeballs?”

I think he was crying as he got in his spaceship and flew away.