One more day…..

… and The Book of Liz opens. We had an audience member last night at dress rehearsal and it was very nice to get a reaction. I knew I would enjoy this process but I had no idea how MUCH I would enjoy it.

I feel like writing a little something, so hold on and let us see if it ends up being interesting.

I woke up suddenly. It must have been a voice because the sound of it echoed in my head, but I couldn’t remember what it said. I looked at my arms against the white of the down comforter and tried to focus on staying awake. I saw then that those arms were not mine. Impossible! I looked closer. Where was the small constellation of freckles on my left wrist ? Where was the indentation on my right middle finger from holding pencils too tightly? I ran to a mirror. Shocked, my breath coming faster, I saw the same strange arms in the mirror. Wait! Whose face is that? Whose eyes? Once mine were green and brown with a burst of gold around the pupil, not at all like these gray lifeless ones. Whose dry and white lips are these? Mine were soft and pink. I checked the places I always had liked; my shoulders, my neck, my collarbone, my back. Formless and faded now.

How did this happen? And like a dripping faucet drowning out all other noise, I remember. I remember when I erased my freckles, hoping to get rid of my imperfections. I remember when I traded my creative hands for busy ones. I remember when I tore out my eyes, wanting to avoid being seen. My lips shriveled up when I stopped speaking truth and when I stopped kissing truthfully. My body became forgotten when I began to cover up what others didn’t like or appreciate. I remember that this version of myself was my own creation. My own mess.

God, will you take back your creation? The one I was ashamed of? Myself? Will you take it back and restore what I have torn apart?

I miss my details.

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6 responses to “One more day…..

  1. Can I have permission to read this to my drama team??!!? Really awesome!
    Sarah R.-L.

  2. Awww This is AWESOME! I cried. Wow. Is this your play? Or is this you? Or both? Anyway, it’s beautiful.

  3. Read “The Birthmark” by Nathaniel Hawthorne (I believe). Similar theme. My eighth graders were engaged by the ideas in it though tough read for their age.

    Sarah N.

  4. i cherish the YOU that you are…

  5. i’m so glad i read this again…

  6. i miss my details.

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